Hi everybody, everyone or perhaps no one. Its been quite awhile since I have been doing any blogging. But I think I will be back! I realized i needed it for me, too. Lots has happened since I was last here.
I was reading with interest about my dog Shadow passing and how I wrote about it here. Since then I have lost yet another dog, my little wonderful Mimzy has gone ‘home’ too. She got sick on a Tuesday, while I was away in the city, and the following Saturday she died a harsh death from kidney failure and pancreatitis. It was quick I guess, four days, I never knew she was going to die. The whole thing was so awful I have sat around for one month in a total state of grief, of disbelief, and of great unhappiness with the whole substance of being. But I guess its all a part of the path we are on.
I have now hit my four year mark, past cancer diagnosis. My four years of making it through!I am grateful.
I just didn’t think or know, or comprehend how lossing this dog would knock me off my balance.
I am ready to go back to work, at something substantial. I will never be happy at a job out here on the island that pays ten bucks an hour, and worse than that you get no respect. oh and let’s not even go there about aging and lack of respect from anyone.
Maybe if I just drown myself in work, I can drown myself in unnecessary junk and trips bought to just get past this mundane existence we call life.
Take time for myself, they say. Just heal. I am sick of having to be healing from something. Totally sick of it. Tired of thinking how short time is, and just ready to succumb to just what the fuck let ever come what comes.