How do we accomplish what we say we want? How do we know what we really want? How am I going to accomplish what I really want? When I wake up in the morning, what gets me up and what is going to get me up in the future?
Having cancer changes you forever. It takes awhile to recover from the fact you just went through treatment, are still alive, and contemplating what is next or what is left, and what is life to be. But definitely, my priorities are different.
So I have been searching, talking to professionals and this is what I have come up with for a plan. I am going to create a clear focus, where I am, and where I want to be.
I need a reason to get up in the morning. We all do.
My wish for this site was and is, to create hope for cancer patients, cancer survivors, and for those of the professional community who want to see what’s working, what’s not working in their patient community. I would love for it to be an open communication where people respond, contribute, learn and celebrate! It’s what I could contribute, but I am getting ahead of my myself. The following, can be used by anyone who is trying to find their way, set goals, it doesn’t have to be life focus…it could be smaller. But it works.
————— Three steps from my mentor:
First: Focus I am creating a clear vision of what I want. I will make it compelling, with impact, fun and creativity. It will pull me to get out of bed in the morning to accomplish it. Focus will give me energy. And I will know where I am and where I want to be.
Second: I will get the tools ..the best tools, and the right tools. I will start with a map (a destination) and a mentor. Why a mentor? Well they know the shortcuts, they have the knowledge because they have ran the road before me. I will model a successful person…why not stand on the shoulders of a giant? They leave the best clues. They know the bumps in the road. Start with what works. If you were dieting, you go get an expert, and you follow their advice. If its financial, you find a financial expert. If its the cancer world, you get expert advice.
Third: resolve inner conflicts. Sometimes I sabotage my own success by fear, and by living life off an old life blueprint. What makes me think I don’t deserve this? How many times have you paused yourself in life, and said oh my parents wouldn’t approve, somebody might not like what I think, all looking at blueprints that stifle your very light, energy and creativity. Let go – unlock and unleash. When I am in conflict, it pulls my energy away from my focus. So this third step is very important, and you have to do it, or you will destroy ‘focus’ and ‘tools’.
So first I am going to identify to me, what is most important today. I am going to align my life with what is most important to me today. And then I am going to build my tool box. For me, it might be making sure I have the best physical therapist to help me regain my strength back. I want my body back! I want my muscle tone, I want my arm to work, and I will deal with the grief, loss, and learn from it. That’s not to say I won’t go through it.
My doctor is another tool. Making sure I have the right team. I think my team was pretty good. I have to make sure I have the right team going forward. That might include my medications. I need to resolve my conflict I am feeling because that conflict takes me away from my focus. That might include my pharmacy and pharmacist who manages my medications. It definitely includes a physical therapist.
- Energy and drive are created by focus.
- Start with what already works rather than trial and error.
Inner conflicts must be resolved . Remember, if you want success…you can’t want free time as focus. These pull in opposite directions. Two steps forward, three backwards. My mentor said life is about 80 % psychology and 20% mechanics. But if you have inner conflicts, I want to be rich but I don’t want to work…well its not going to happen. If I want to be healthy and cancer free, then I have to do what the ‘best’ doctor in my toolbox is telling me to do. If that doesn’t happen, it won’t be because I didn’t try my best. It will be because life stepped in and said no. I can accept that. This life will end, and I know that. But while I am here, I can make a difference, be happy and present.
That comes to the next two final phases: celebrate (and I mean really feel the joy, and strength) and then contribute. I will celebrate my successes, and then I will pay it forward..I will give back. I don’t have all the answers yet, and I am still wading through all these changes and conflicts. But I am beginning to see the rainbow through the rain.
So I invite you to stick with me as I explore this new approach. I have to go off and think about it now. Thinking stuff through creates direction, strength, faith in yourself and what you are doing, and results in ACTION!
Have a great day!