The cat has taken over my life not to mention my master bedroom. For some reason this guy has so much energy and doesn’t turn on until 11 pm for some reason when the lights go out. So I have fooled him. He will go to the bedroom and then I just lock him in there!
The problem with all this is that then I lose my bedroom. But the good news is I am getting better sleep anyway in the spare room. Cancer leaves you tired. I am taking my vitamins. I am trying to exercise every day. As my arm gets stronger and stronger I do more. I am keeping up with my physical therapy exercises most days. The therapist added squats to the whole thing, and I am now up to 36 but one day I decided to do 50. I can do it I thought. Yes, right sure. Now I have a pulled muscle in my ‘you know where’. This has been no fun! But I am still tired, and I love my naps. I don’t just nap….I am knocked out for two hours!
I don’t think I have any more answers more than the day I had the last surgery which has been six months this week. I have switched from the Arimidex to the Tamoxifen and its now my BFF. HA HA I don’t think so but it doesn’t seem to bad either. I ached all over and I feel okay other than that so far. I hope I can take it but five years? Well if it keeps everything good.
I am depressed. I guess I have reason to be but I would like to swing out of it. I need to stay busy. Most of the time I have a good attitude but then I get overwhelmed. Most days I don’t want to write anymore. I don’t want to think about cancer on a daily basis. I wish it would just fade from my memory. The survivors that I know, say that it does with time but that a little always remains tucked back in the far corner. Its been to soon for that and I am not all recovered.
All this media attention to Angela Jolie has spurred attention to being proactive. I think what she did was her own choice. I would have encouraged her to wait. She is only 37. She is in great physical shape..who wouldn’t be with her profession and chasing six kids; not to mention having Brad Pitt in your bedroom!! I think I would have enjoyed it all for another ten years and then maybe. But its her choice.
We have no control. I have to think that is part of my slump in mood this week. I have a friend who has pancreatic cancer, Ashley the Cancer Kicking Girl. She has a blog. She is such an inspiration! She never gives up and keeps on going even after having a hole in her intestine several weeks ago. She has pancreatic cancer, stage IV and she goes to work everyday, she runs races, she volunteers and coordinates Purple research. Wow…she is a good example for us, but I don’t have the energy. LOL
So I should (there is that darn word) figure out some goals, list things I need to do because I have procrastinated on everything to the point I am driving a car with no license, and everything is un done and in a mess. I am going to go find a job and focus on something else.
I will try to keep up my blog, up my sense of humor and write. Afterall, in the beginning all I wanted to do was be a writer. The internet has allowed me to do that. I no longer need a newspaper or a magazine to write for. So today I think I will establish some goals for my blog. Feel free to write me about topics you would like me to write on. I encourage other bloggers to write a blog and contribute to mine! That would be fun. Maybe I will ask Ashley!!! Yes I will.
One Mondays I will start posting my Gratitude List. I have it posted on the refrigerator least I forget. I will also make some goals. Not a bucket list mind you cause I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon.
Have a great weekend. Give somebody something in secret!! Timmy is biting my hair and trying to get me to feed him so I have to run!
Bonnie
