Hi Everyone,
Summer and Vitamin D have arrived in Seattle! The heat is on. Wow it has been hot. I have been swimming almost everyday until yesterday and then I didn’t feel so hot! Instead I took myself to a movie and had a few laughs!
I seen the Movie ‘Heat’. And you are probably all wondering what this has to do with having cancer! Well taking care of yourself is a very important part of this disease. And going to a movie on a hot day to escape the heat in an unairconditioned house is priceless!
I know its a lesson I still am learning. Of course, Rome wasn’t built in a day! I have to laugh here because I can see my youngest daughter just grimacing as I say that. She hates it when I say these kinds of things which my whole generation is infamous for! They are lessons learned! Live with it. Learn from it. Grow from it.
I have been writing nightly with a dear friend who is going through something very difficult in his life. That’s what friends do…or should do is just ‘listen’. Comfort. This disease has taught me that what we really need is just plain old comfort. and we deserve it! And we can give it also.
Stop judging. If you can do one thing for a friend or family member just plain shut the fuck up with your righteous judgment and know it all attitude. I don’t want your religious beliefs. I don’t want your meditative practices and advice. I have enough shit going on to just figure out what the doctors want me to do and when. I have enough crap going on just trying to physically let alone financially survive.
And for those of you that I gave money too, shame on you for not making an effort to pay it back! Some weeks I have not even been able to put food on the table. I hope you are enjoying your meals. And me with cancer and surgeries; and you running around and not even so much as a card. And you know who you are.
So this post might just bing me off the employ-ability sector but I think it is long time that I opened my mouth and said what I really feel and get it off my chest.
No everything is not going well. Its amazing that when people call and they ‘might’ ask how I am doing…the fact that they really don’t want to hear what I have to say. They want me to say that I am fine and I don’t need anything; that I certainly don’t want to share anything with them…because they don’t want to hear it. They want everything to just be fine. Well its not fine.
I am not responsible for this disease. I didn’t do anything to get it. Its not my fault. So stop treating me like it is!!!!!!!!!!
I am writing a book about my journey. Its going to be an include all because it is the one way I am going to get all this ‘off my chest’. Now isn’t that a funny euphemism……I had to lose a breast to get it off my chest. Wow…I might put that on a t shirt. I found a publisher through this blog or should I say she found me?
In my own review, I am a really good person. I have been very generous in my lifetime with others. I have loved my friends and family. I have always had a volunteer job of one type or another since I was 19 when I worked in the big sister program. I enjoy volunteer work and I acknowledge that I get alot out of it personally. I have been working since 14.
In case I haven’t said it often enough; thank you to my supportive friends and family. 
Now I think I will go enjoy my day. I feel pounds lighter.
