Okay so its the second sixth month oncology appointment (after the end of treatment 14 months ago) . I guess somewhere I got the idea that this would be the end of it. Ha HA followups for ten years…hmmm guess that is a good thing!
Wishful thinking huh? I had to go in today and repeat my blood labs because someone lost them; or they didn’t take them; so here we go…let’s wait again.
It was during one of these waiting games I sat next to ‘Alice’ in the waiting room.
hey Alice, I am Bonnie!
hi Bonnie, call me Ali…How far out are you?
Oh, I am 12 months, from mastectomy.
Are you broke or homeless yet?
Ah, no. Came close but I think I will be ok.
Oh well lucky you!
How far out are you?
Oh, I am not out at all. I am stage 4 mets. (This is not anything you want to hear)
Oh, (I am grasping for anything to say) ….did you get social security disability yet?
Nope, 18 months and counting, still waiting. Living on 197.00 a month from the State of Washington, but I get food stamps.
I have now become very quiet. I am not sure what to say next. I secretly tell the good Lord right there on the spot, thank you that I am not her. Thank you that this is not my journey today and please God don’t let me have to take this journey tomorrow. Can I do anything to help you?
Can I do anything to help you are the nicest sweetest words in the world when you feel so terribly alone. And cancer is walking a journey that feels quite lonely. Most of the time your friends just avoid you cause they don’t know what to say. Those that stick around are usually those that have been around some kind of devastation in their life. They know you will too survive this; or not; and its about the journey not the final destination.
Those friends know the right times to slip you a fifty dollar bill or show up with a bag full of lemons, or a half gallon of your favorite ice cream. Those friends send you cute pictures and words of encouragement or just sit with you on the sofa and watch I Love Lucy reruns.
Friends don’t try and talk you out of your faith – the only rope you are hanging on with. Friends encourage and uplift.
So back to Alice in the waiting room.
Can I do anything to help?
Nope I don’t suppose.
Wanna go to the new Meryl Strep movie after this; my treat?
Yup that sounds good.
Great, I will wait for you.
Maybe we can swing by and get a burger on the way?
Sometimes just being there is what its all about.
Have a great day. The movie was terrific.