Ninty Nine Strategies for Coping with Life

Hi, As I start my first day of school for the term we were sent this article, and I thought I would pass it on.  Credits are given below – I am definitely learning already!  I will pass on things that I find useful and you can use or discard at your leisure.  But managing stress and coping with life events can sometimes be clouded in our minds when we are continually bombarded by chemicals created in our bodies during stress.  We can’t control everything, heck I cannot control anything.  This has been a big lesson for me.

Trying to let it roll.  Enjoy!

99 Coping Strategies

  1. Begin living now.
  2. Stop living in the future/past.
  3. Stop asking to be rescued.
  4. Stop waiting until and marking time.
  5. Write a journal of your daily activities, thoughts and moods.
  6. List your successes.
  7. Listen to feedback from others.
  8. Set goals realistically.
  9. Make friends with people who like themselves.
  10. Think positively.
  11. Learn what is and what is not controllable in your life.
  12. Enjoy leisure.
  13. Be honest about how you feel.
  14. Express yourself.
  15. Meditate daily.
  16. Read about human growth.
  17. Pretend you’re a perfect parent to yourself.
  18. Figure out ways to achieve your goals.
  19. Take a continuing education course.
  20. Stop collecting people with problems.
  21. Stop rescuing people.
  22. Learn to accept what you cannot change.
  23. Stroke yourself.
  24. Surface your feelings.
  25. Practice self-expression.
  26. Let other people run their own lives.
  27. Think to solve problems rather than depending on “magical powers.”
  28. Get acquainted with happy, successful people.
  29. Expect to enjoy your relationships.
  30. Develop your personal talents.
  31. Give yourself permission to be afraid of failure and succeed.
  32. Encourage gentleness in yourself and others.
  33. Play.
  34. Face life with dignity.
  35. See people as individuals.
  36. Protect yourself from unsafe situations.
  37. Do something exciting.
  38. Organize your work, focus on one task at a time.
  39. Take some time off.
  40. Go more frequently where you will get what is good for you.
  41. Practice being alert.
  42. Listen to the sound of your voice.
  43. Take a nap.
  44. Stop letting things drift.
  45. Make your environment comfortable.
  46. Take vacations.
  47. Develop a varied life.
  48. Experiment with your behaviors.
  49. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
  50. Relax.
  51. Get enough rest.
  52. Stop talking about your miseries.
  53. Stop looking for someone to blame.
  54. Stop reflecting on things that didn’t work out.
  55. Analyze your issues, figure out what can be done and then take some immediate action.
  56. Exercise regularly.
  57. Ask for help in a straightforward way.
  58. Talk about your strengths.
  59. Encourage others to feel good.
  60. Practice good posture.
  61. Control your food input, eat nutritionally.
  62. Stop assuming others can’t along without you.
  63. Dress in a way that feels right for you.
  64. Get involved with friends.
  65. Share yourself with friends and significant others.
  66. Stop using self-defeating ways to feel satisfied.
  67. Stop feeling good only when doing for others.
  68. Start sharing responsibilities.
  69. Listen to people.
  70. Start really caring about people.
  71. Seek out good friends.
  72. Compromise occasionally.
  73. Make decisions.
  74. Stop being always available for running errands.
  75. Give people a break.
  76. Take a chance. . .risk.
  77. Let go of what is lost.
  78. Stop being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
  79. Sing.
  80. Keep your body clean.
  81. Get and give a massage.
  82. Avoid excessive noise.
  83. Engage in religious activity.
  84. Redefine your priorities.
  85. Learn from children.
  86. Find out what you’re good at & enjoy doing it.
  87. Stop letting people push you around.
  88. Do something you’d really like to do for yourself.
  89. Take some steps to straighten out a problem in your life right now.
  90. Learn to ask for what you want.
  91. Encourage others to take responsibility for their own welfare.
  92. Remember you are grown up.
  93. Spend time alone.
  94. Redecorate your home.
  95. Ask for strokes.
  96. Face painful questions squarely.
  97. Get a medical checkup.
  98. Get into loose fitting clothes at home.
  99. Dance.

Reference:

 

University of Minnesota Counseling and Consulting Services (2008). 99 coping strategies. An article.

 

 

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Happy Birthday to me! Glad to be here!

bday-007

Happy birthday to me, I am glad to be here!  Going to celebrate with friends and go see a funny movie.  Thanks for all you facebooks, and tweets and cards!

Off to enjoy My day.

Bonnie

 

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To Much TV, Medical Articles and Info

Well it was really encouraging…NOT…after having a mastectomy and then reading I had better chance for survival if I had a lumpectomy followed by radiation.   Well I had two lumpectomies and one mastectomy, and no radiation so I suppose my chances are ….well what?

The latest studies out say breast conservation therapy has a better chance of survivial.  As ooppossed to what.

I can’t begin to tell you how sick I am of the medical community, and the fact that not two doctors will ever tell you the same thing.  Its stressful enough without going through this and then have it spread all over tv that the choice you made was the wrong one.

I am thinking about giving up blogging too. I don’t want to hear another word about cancer.

Who are we suppose to trust?  Based on what?

Just sign me,

tired of it all in Seattle

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/778276

 

 

 

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Hair Dye…studies on cancer links ‘or not’!

Good morning,

I am going to focus over the next few days on things we read in the media, and how they possibly effect us.  The conclusion is out on the hair dye as you will read in the article following.  Some of the info came from the NIH, and the American Cancer Institute.  The verdict is out on hair dye, except it is considered a slight risk when you are a hairdresser or barber…standing above the fumes presents a risk.  That would seem feasible, since years of being exposed to the chemicals compares to rats being fed the chemicals in a lab.

Using gloves is important, and for me the good news was the lighter the color the better.  Starting at an older age, is more preferable also.  But dark colors appear to bring some risk.  In other words my hair color friends, there is not much evidence it will harm you even over time.  But be careful to wear gloves.

Here’s the article from the ACS:

“Many American women, as well as a small but increasing number of men, use hair dyes. You may have heard rumors about a link between using hair dye and getting cancer. Many studies have looked at hair dyes as a possible risk factor for various types of cancer. Here we will discuss what the research shows so that you can make choices that are comfortable for you.

Types of hair dyes

Hair dyes vary greatly in their chemical make-up. People are exposed to the chemicals through skin contact. There are 3 main types of hair dye:

Temporary hair dyes

Temporary dyes cover the surface of the hair but do not penetrate into the hair shaft. They generally last for 1 to 2 washings.

Semi-permanent hair dyes

Semi-permanent dyes do penetrate into the hair shaft. They typically last for 5 to 10 washings.

Permanent (oxidative) hair dyes

Permanent dyes cause lasting chemical changes in the hair shaft. They are the most popular types of hair dyes, because the color changes last until the hair is replaced by new growth. They are sometimes referred to as coal-tar dyes because of some of the ingredients they contain. Permanent dyes contain various colorless substances such as aromatic amines and phenols. In the presence of hydrogen peroxide, these substances go through a chemical reaction to become a dye. Darker hair dyes tend to use higher concentrations of coloring agents.

Concern about cancer risk is largely limited to the semi-permanent dyes and the permanent dyes. Because darker dyes have higher concentrations of some chemicals that may cause cancer, these products are of greatest potential concern.

Do hair dyes cause cancer?

Researchers use 2 main types of studies to try to determine if a substance or exposure causes cancer. (A substance that causes cancer or helps cancer grow is called a carcinogen.)

In studies done in the lab, animals are exposed to a substance (often in very large doses) to see if it causes tumors or other health problems. It’s not always clear if the results from these types of studies will apply to humans, but lab studies are the best way to detect the potential for a substance to cause cancer in humans before widespread exposure occurs.

Another type of study looks at cancer rates in different groups of people. Such a study might compare the cancer rate in a group exposed to a substance versus the rate in a group not exposed to it, or compare it to what the expected cancer rate would be in the general population. But studies in people can sometimes be hard to interpret, because there may be other factors affecting the results that are hard to account for.

In most cases neither type of study provides definitive evidence on its own, so researchers usually look at both human and lab-based studies.

Studying something like hair dyes can be even more complicated because they may contain any of thousands of different chemicals. On top of this, the ingredients in hair dyes have changed over the years. Early hair dyes contained chemicals, including some aromatic amines, which were found in the late 1970s to cause cancer in lab animals, so hair dye manufacturers changed some of the chemicals in their products. Studying exposure to hair dyes from decades ago may not be the same as studying current exposures. In fact, many studies classify personal hair dye use based on whether it took place before or after 1980.

Studies done in the lab

Some of the ingredients used in hair dyes (including certain aromatic amines) have been shown to cause cancer in lab animals, usually when the animals were fed large amounts of the dyes over a long period of time. Although studies have shown that some of the dye applied to an animal’s skin is absorbed into the bloodstream, most have not found a link between skin application and cancer risk. It is not clear how these results might relate to people’s use of hair dyes.

Studies in people

Most of the studies looking at whether hair dye products increase the risk of cancer have focused on certain cancers such as non-Hodgkin lymphoma, leukemia, bladder cancer, and breast cancer. These studies have looked at 2 groups of people:

  • People who use hair dyes regularly
  • People who may be exposed to them at work

Most studies of people exposed to hair dyes at work, such as hairdressers and barbers, have found a small but fairly consistent increased risk of bladder cancer. However, studies looking at people who have their hair dyed have not found a consistent increase in bladder cancer risk.

Studies looking at a possible link between personal hair dye use and the risk of blood-related cancers such as leukemia and lymphoma have had mixed results. For example, some studies have found an increased risk of certain types of non-Hodgkin lymphoma (but not others) in women who use hair dyes, especially if they began use before 1980 and/or use darker colors. The same types of results have been found in some studies of leukemia risk. However, other studies have not found an increased risk. If there is an effect of hair dye use on blood-related cancers, it is likely to be small.

Most studies looking at hair dye use and breast cancer have not found an increased risk. For other types of cancer, too few studies have been done to be able to draw any firm conclusions.

Many people use hair dyes, so it is important that more studies are done to get a better idea if these dyes affect cancer risk.

What expert agencies say

Several agencies (national and international) study different substances in the environment to determine if they can cause cancer. The American Cancer Society looks to these organizations to evaluate the risks based on evidence from laboratory, animal, and human research studies.

Some of these expert agencies have classified hair dyes or their ingredients as to whether they can cause cancer.

The International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) is part of the World Health Organization (WHO). Its major goal is to identify causes of cancer. Based on the data regarding bladder cancer, IARC has concluded that workplace exposure as a hairdresser or barber is “probably carcinogenic to humans.” However, the IARC considers personal hair dye use to be “not classifiable as to its carcinogenicity to humans,” based on a lack of evidence from studies in people.

The National Toxicology Program (NTP) is formed from parts of several different US government agencies, including the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). The NTP has not classified exposure to hair dyes as to its potential to cause cancer. However, it has classified some chemicals that are or were used in hair dyes, such as 4-chloro-o-phenylenediamine, as “reasonably anticipated to be human carcinogens.”

(For more information on the classification systems used by these agencies, see our document, Known and Probable Human Carcinogens.)

Do hair dyes cause any other health problems?

Some of the ingredients in hair dyes can cause allergic reactions leading to severe skin and eye irritation in some people. Eye irritation can seriously affect vision and, very rarely, lead to blindness. Hair dyes can also actually cause hair loss in some people.

For these reasons, it is recommended that users test these products on a small area of skin before using them on their hair and scalp. It is also for these reasons that these products should not be used to dye eyebrows.

Are hair dyes regulated?

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is responsible for regulating the safety of cosmetics in the United States. The FDA can prevent the sale of any cosmetics found to be harmful. This includes any new ingredients to be used in hair dyes. However, many of the older ingredients in hair dyes (some of which are still in use) were excluded when the FDA was initially given the power to regulate these products back in the 1930s.

Should I limit my exposure to hair dye?

It is not clear how much personal hair dye use might raise cancer risk, if at all. Most studies done thus far have not found a strong link, but further studies are needed to help clarify this issue.

Other than recommendations that apply to everyone (having routine screening exams, eating a healthy diet, being physically active, etc.), there is no specific medical advice for current or former hair dye users. Smoking is a known risk factor for bladder cancer and some types of leukemia (as well as many other cancers and other diseases), and quitting smoking can improve your health, regardless of whether or not you use hair dyes.

For people who want to dye their hair but are concerned about safety, the FDA has provided some suggestions:

  • Consider delaying dyeing your hair until later in life when it starts to turn gray.
  • Consider using henna, which is largely plant-based.
  • Be sure to do a patch test for allergic reactions before putting the dye in your hair. Do a patch test before every use.
  • Carefully follow the directions on the hair dye package.
  • Wear gloves when applying hair dye.
  • Don’t leave the dye on your head any longer than necessary.
  • Rinse your scalp thoroughly with water after use.
  • Never mix different hair dye products, because you may cause potentially harmful reactions.
  • Never dye your eyebrows or eyelashes.

Some newer hair dye products are vegetable based. These products may have some drawbacks, such as not being able to change hair color drastically or having the color fade sooner than is seen with permanent dyes (unless they contain some of the same ingredients as the permanent dyes). But they may be another option for some people concerned about hair dye safety. ”

Next up the alarming news from Duke University about lumpectomies winning over mastectomies in breast cancer survival.

Again, in some of these news articles its best to check out the source and find the whole story.  Second sources do not always publish the whole story!

have a great day!!!!!!!!!

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Relaxing and Living in the Moment

I had a great day today.  My friend Scott cooked rack of lamb for dinner with some fantastic roasted potatoes in Rosemary! It was heavenly.  I sometimes feel bad that I don’t cook as good as he does, but not tonight because it was fantastic. Yum  yum.

We all need to relax and live in the moment.  This moment can be so good.  I so appreciate all my friends, so much more than I use to.  I took small things and big things for granted before cancer, and I don’t do that now.

Hugs to everyone, and have sweet dreams and no worries tonight.

:)

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Coping Strategies and The Longest Hug

This brings up an interesting topic.  I have been trying to figure out how or where to start this subject because we all need good coping skills for our health.  Most of us have not had them, haven’t maybe needed them we thought, and just go about our days unaware of the long term effects of chronic stress.

I don’t have cancer today.  And I don’t want to have cancer in 3 – 5 years again.  Because a reoccurrence, is deadly.  My chance is now.

Because so many people are facing similar stresses right now,   the need for coping strategies is widespread. And while different people respond to different specific strategies, coping strategies fall into a few basic categories, each of which can be helpful.

Calming Coping Strategies

First, it’s helpful to calm your physiology so you reverse your stress response. When your stress response is triggered, you process information differently, you can feel physically and emotionally taxed, and if you don’t reverse your stress response, after a while you become susceptible to the effects of chronic stress.

Emotion-Focused Coping Strategies

There are two main types of coping strategies: emotion-focused coping strategies and solution-focused coping strategies. The calming coping strategies I mentioned above are a quick version of the former type—emotion-focused coping strategies—but there are more in-depth emotion-focused strategies that can help with many of the major stressors that people face. These include coping strategies like maintaining a sense of humor and cultivating optimism, where the situation doesn’t change, but your perception of it does. These strategies are great to use in many of the situations I’ve mentioned where I have little ability to control what happens, and I need to see my stressors as a challenge instead of a threat, or change the way I respond to my circumstances in order to diffuse some of the stress involved.

 Solution-Focused Coping Strategies

Sometimes there’s nothing you can do to change a situation, but often you’ll find an opportunity to take action and actually change the circumstances you face. These types of solution-focused coping strategies can be very effective for stress relief; often a small change is all that’s required to make a huge shift in how you feel. For one thing, one change can lead to other changes, so that a chain reaction of positive change is created, opportunities are opened up, and life changes significantly. Also, once action is taken, the sense of being trapped with no options—a recipe for stress—can dissipate quickly. It’s important to be thoughtful about which actions to take, as each situation may call for a unique solution, but a less-stressed mind  can more easily choose the most beneficial course of action.

And we are dealing with the devil himself here in cancer. He is lurking, just wanting to dive into that emotional situation and rev up your cortisol and adrenaline which will invite cancer to take over.  And if cancer doesn’t pop up its ugly head, probably a stroke will.  Many of the medicines we are taking can lead to stroke or heart disease…and I don’t want any of them.

Its all tough decisions, but there really is no choice. I posted on Facebook today a letter from a fellow breast cancer ‘survivor’ who is experiencing a re-occurrence.  She had a mild cancer first, and they got it.  but she didn’t change, she self admits.  And I wonder for me about toxic people  in my life, who fight me on every change or non change; and its mostly family.  I am not sure how to deal with them, because old habits kill people in families. Its ridiculous. All I want to do is live. So do you cast out those people, or still try?  Not at the cost of my life.

My oldest daughter doesn’t talk to me at all.  Which I let go as fine, but it isn’t really. I would have liked to resolve whatever it is that got us here anyway because it destroys the whole entire family.  I worry about her health to, because she harbors such hatred in her soul.  Is it worth it?  I don’t want her to get this cancer, or any cancer but I can’t see how she won’t.  But her sister says, she loves her family and is protecting it.  I am part of that family, whether she acknowledges that or not.  What is this going to teach her children, who I am close to and love?  I know they love me.  What scars are they suffering from our lack of communication?   And I am now not in a physical position to resolve this.  They both attack me with ‘rage’ and screaming.  Hey I will even take part of the responsibility because I raised them.  but they are 39 and 42.

Well, I am going on with my life. I can only take care of myself.  I don’t know. Life isn’t figured out easily. I would just like to not hurt the next generation.  When I held my granddaughter in my arms, just one week before I found out I had cancer…it was one of those hugs…where we held on…for dear life, not wanting to end it. In a public place, because we just ‘ran’ into each other, and she ended it with “I love you Mana.”    It was worth a million dollars. Ihadn’t seen her in three years.   But what is this doing to her?  She certainly wouldn’t tell her mother about this…maybe that she had seen me.  but not about the energy that was sent between grandma and granddaughter! It was worth a million dollars.  It kept me going through all my cancer treatment.  Every time I went into surgery and they put the mask over my face, I remembered her arms around me.  And they protected me as I drifted off into the dark.

And when I leave this world, I will remember that day as one of the best days of my life.   Thank you Ryann.

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We scare ourselves!

blackscottyI got all worried about telling the doctor I decided not to take that medicine cause of all the side effects. I didn’t feel my incision was healing, and my arm is still not working right.

He just said. ‘okay, we’ll try something else. Let’s wait a few months.’

That’s it? No arguments, no pushbacks?  Very nice.

Worried for nothing.  I must be to use to my family, who throws hysterics when everything isn’t as ‘they’ understand it.

Very refreshing.

and today, all my school paperwork was signed off, and I am all set to just go to school for the next year and get my BS in Information Technology, and go back to work later in the health care field.  I might get a masters and teach later.

The point is to be happy.  And I am.

Less stress, no worries, peace!

 

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I love cats too!

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Falling off the can…literally

No  today is not my positive day.  No you don’t need to avoid me just because I don’t feel good. Sometimes its just good to hear from somebody.

The side effects from the Arimidex are )$(#*.  Its a horrible horrible drug.  When I went to the support group, 3 of the women were on it were all taking pain killers to deal with the side effects, and two of them were taking Oxycontin.  Gee, now I know why it makes me feel like crap.  Because it is.  and it does.

Other than that, my arm is getting better slowly but the incision is frozen as a rock to my chest wall.  I am not taking tylenol or aspirin anymore even.  Of course, falling off the garbage can on Sunday was not such a hot idea.  I locked myself out of the house and there I was stuck with the dogs and locked out.  The one window I did not have a storm window on was by the kitchen table, so I worked to get the screen off.  There was nothing to stand on, so idiot me got on the garbage can (upside down GC) and tried to pry open the window. Just as the window came open the garbage can tipped over and I fell to the group landing on all fours. OUCH.  Luckily the bone breaking attributes of Arimidex had not kicked in, and I didn’t break anything but I am sore.  How stupid.  Along came two maintenance guys and they climbed in through the window and opened the door.

So much for today.

On the positive side for me, I am making my own choices about moving forward.  And I would rather have quality of life than quantity.   Besides, this drug only improves my chance of a non reoccurence by 9%.  I have 75 % without taking it.  There is plenty of chance I will never get it back again.  And if I do, we can treat it then.

I want my life back!

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Genetically Modified Foods – foods to avoid!

Hi Everybody, today’s topic is GM – genetically modified foods that cause or can contribute towards cancer. I found this great article and I think you will find it very informative.

http://truefoodnow.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/cfs-shoppers-guide.pdf

This site gives a tremendous amount of information about foods that are not good for  you, foods that are carcinogenic.  I was amazed at all the foods on the list, that I have eaten in the past and had no clue they were not good for me.  Its no wonder.  When you have time, please review this document. Its long, but its very complete with brand names to  use and ones to avoid.

The other thing that amazed me is that grilling food outside on the grill is definitely not a good idea.  Also well cooked red meat – nope that is no good either, rare or medium only. I like rare anyway, but mostly avoid red meet.

Atlantic farm salmon is another one.

We do not want our food  genetically altered.  This is so bad.

Another big offender is canola oil.  Read the article please, and use it to help you select items at your grocery store.  I know the link is long, but it is so good.  Below my signature is a short synopsis!

To your health!

Bonnie

Tips for avoiding GM crops
❧ TIP #1: BUY ORGANIC
Certified organic products are not allowed to contain any
GMOs. Therefore, when you purchase products labeled “100%
organic,” “organic,” or “made with organic ingredients,” all
ingredients in these products are not allowed to be produced
from GMOs. For example, products labeled as “made with
organic ingredients” only require 70% of the ingredients to
be organic, but 100% must be non-GMO.
❧ TIP #2: LOOK FOR“NON-GMO” LABELS
Companies may voluntarily label products as “non-GMO.”
Some labels state “non-GMO” while others spell out “Made
Without Genetically Modified Ingredients.” Some products
limit their claim to only one particular “At-Risk” ingredient
such as soy lecithin, listing it as “non-GMO.”
2
3
❧ TIP #3: AVOID AT-RISK INGREDIENTS
Avoid products made with any of the crops that are GM. Most
GM ingredients are products made from the “Big Four:” corn,
soybeans, canola, and cottonseed, used in processed foods.
Some of the most common genetically engineered Big Four
ingredients in processed foods are:
Corn
■ Corn flour, meal, oil, starch, gluten, and syrup
■ Sweeteners such as fructose, dextrose, and glucose
■ Modified food starch*
Soy
■ Soy flour, lecithin, protein, isolate, and isoflavone
■ Vegetable oil* and vegetable protein*
Canola Canola oil (also called rapeseed oil)
Cotton Cottonseed oil

pears  Pears are an excellent choice!  Probably my cinammon rolls are not a good choice…they are full of corn syrup and sugars.  Oh, crap!!!!!!!!!!!

cinamons

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